Nurturing Romantic Relationships During Valentine’s Day and Beyond
Valentine’s Day brings us aisles upon aisles of flowers, chocolates, and giant stuffed toys. While these all may be appreciated gestures for our romantic partners, there are a variety of ways across all love languages that we may show love and care to our loved ones. Consider thinking outside of the box this Valentine’s Day and beyond to show and receive love, kindness, and respect.
Words of Affirmation:
If you or your partner identify words of affirmation as the preferred love language, you can utilize a high degree of creativity in showing appreciation. You may create a mental or physical list of some of your favorite qualities they embody, and use this to pay compliments in a creative way. Writing a longer love letter may be appreciated, or these compliments may be best spread out over time. You could leave shorter notes on the refrigerator or in their purse or briefcase, or tell them about their best qualities aloud.
One way to enhance words of affirmation may be to compliment your partner’s character. While physical compliments are often appreciated, complimenting their kindness, respectfulness, trustworthiness, or assertiveness lets them know that you truly value them. Affirming your respect and pride in the relationship may even serve to strengthen it in the future.
Acts of Service:
Acts of service can range from large romantic gestures to help with everyday tasks. Consider both you and your partner’s typical responsibilities, and search for ways that you may be of service. What is your partner’s least favorite daily or weekly chore? Is there a large project they’ve been putting off? Could they use a day to focus on their hobbies rather than their usual responsibilities? If you prefer to engage in a larger gesture, consider planning a romantic date or trip, or prepare their favorite dinner for them.
Physical Touch:
Partners who prefer physical intimacy as their love language often value the security and reassurance that is communicated through touch. Therefore, this love language is not limited to sexual forms of expression. Consider giving intentional and meaningful hugs, especially during times of stress. Holding hands or cuddling during downtime may also be appreciated.
Some partners who prefer physical touch may also value this expression in public spheres. Discuss what you and your partner are comfortable expressing in front of others, and consider implementing it in appropriate contexts. For example, some may feel valued and appreciated when their partner holds their hand while grocery shopping, taking a walk, or meeting up with other friends and family.
Giving/Receiving Gifts:
Those who feel loved and appreciated when giving and receiving gifts rarely expect expensive or extravagant items. In fact, many prefer small, personal gifts, like a handmade gift or something that reminds you of them. Consider printing out some of your favorite photos together and creating a photo album, or grabbing their favorite snack or drink on your way home. Many who prefer this love language also enjoy surprises outside of the typical gift-giving days (like holidays or their birthday). Consider giving them occasional gifts “just because”, or whenever you happen across something with sentimental value.
Quality Time:
In our busy world, spending quality time with our partner often must be very intentional. Giving your partner your undivided attention shows them that the relationship is meaningful and valuable to you. They may appreciate longer, uninterrupted conversations, or time spent on a shared hobby or interest. Consider engaging in quality time free from technology or other distractors, or working on a new project together.
The foundation of any healthy relationship can be found in communication, so talk more with your partner about your expectations, boundaries, and desires for the relationship. Often, the best way to learn more about how your partner prefers to be loved is to ask them, and many may have additional ideas from the examples provided here. In any case, love looks different for each of us, and it’s about showing up in ways that make our partner feel seen and appreciated.