Navigating Food and Body Image Around the Holidays

The holiday season can present a unique challenge to those who are recovering from disordered eating habits or experience insecurity about their body image. Between large meals, expectations surrounding those meals, more time spent with friends and family, and insensitivity surrounding symptoms and recovery, this can be an especially difficult time of year. Before you pack up and head home for the holidays (or welcome others into your home), consider implementing some of these strategies to safeguard yourself and your recovery progress.

1. Decide your boundaries and practice enforcing them.

This strategy is listed first because it is often the most difficult step. It can be extremely difficult to stand up to your family and friends, but it may be necessary to ensure consideration for yourself and others. 

It may be helpful to identify triggers or situations that initiate further insecurity about food and body image. Decide what comments or behaviors you are not okay with and identify how they may manifest in your holiday gathering. Perhaps you have an aunt that is entirely too comfortable making comments about your body. Perhaps you have a grandparent that always comments on the food you put on your plate. You may be able to predict situations that occur consistently and decide your boundaries surrounding them.

This isn’t to say you need to be harsh or impolite when enforcing your boundaries. You can protect yourself and others in a loving, compassionate way. You could say a variation of, “I appreciate your concern, but my body is healthy as it is”, or “I’m listening to my hunger cues, and this is the amount/kind of food that will make me feel satisfied.” If it helps, practice enforcing your boundaries out loud, in the mirror, or to a trusted friend.

2. Keep food and body talk out of the conversation.

This strategy aligns heavily with the first, especially if you or a loved one is in recovery from an eating disorder. It may be necessary to set an even firmer boundary, excluding discussion about body and nutritional content altogether. 

Enforcing this boundary can look different for each gathering. It may require a firmer shutdown of comments regarding the calorie content or nutritional value of different foods. It may mean changing the subject abruptly. You may even have to discuss this boundary directly with certain family members or friends if it proves to be difficult for them. Again, even firm boundaries can be enforced lovingly and compassionately. You may say, “Discussing this is not helpful or necessary right now”, or “Let’s enjoy our meal and each other’s company without diet talk.”

3. Think of some distractions that can remove focus from food.

The presence of food can be stressful for some. In the spirit of removing food and body talk from the conversation, it may be helpful to create both mental and conversational distractions. Are there any parades or sporting events being broadcasted on TV? Do you have any board games or card games that your family and friends would be interested in? Can you think of any holiday-themed craft projects? 

While some friends and family may simply want to catch up, providing other forms of entertainment can keep the conversation recovery-positive and inclusive. It may even make it easier to enjoy the time spent with loved ones without worrying about food’s impact on yourself and others at the gathering. 

4. Offer a wide variety of foods that can appeal to everyone.

Serving or bringing different types of foods, including those that may not be viewed as “traditional” holiday foods can open more options (and more comfort) for everyone. The foods typically served at large family gatherings can be some of the most stress-inducing, so consider adding in different types of fruits, vegetables, grains, and proteins. You can even find another family member or friend to help with the cooking!

If you know you or one of your loved ones is a picky eater, make the effort to accommodate! Identify the foods you/they are most comfortable with and add them into the mix. This extra step can make a world of difference in the holiday experience and shows that everyone is welcome and accepted at the gathering. 

5. Don’t be afraid to step away from a negative situation.

If your family and friends are unresponsive to your boundaries, you are not required to tolerate it. You can excuse yourself to another room to decompress or ask your cousins to take a quick walk with you around the neighborhood. It may be helpful to identify recovery allies among your loved ones and keep them aware of the boundaries you have set. 

While you cannot have control over the words and actions of others, you do have control over yourself and your response to them. Some families are more responsive to boundaries than others, but you ultimately must keep yourself and your recovery progress safe.